Morbid Jokes

what is the difference between a apple and a orpahan

apple's are actualy picked

How do you make a builder cry?

Kill his family

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humour jokes? It can't hit home.

My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.

My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. Its kinda creepy.

Q:What comes before 47?

A: AK

Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, Don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."

My dad is like my depression you need a suicide letter to find him

Never attempt to foreshadow your own death you may end up regretting it, you can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if i’m wrong.

What do you call a drunk depressed man that skydives?

Splattered.

Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.

One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!

Me: have you ever tried african food

You: no

Me: they haven't either

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.