Morbid jokes
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?
Matt.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?
Because they are afraid of American airdrops.
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life.
I'm bored and I'm sure someone scrolling through here is too, so wanna chat? Pls.
My Xbox has been acting up lately... So I painted it black to make it run faster.
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.
I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.
Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?
It has better reflexes than the twin towers.
I got kicked out of a hospital once. I told all the COVID patients to stay positive.
I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.