Morbid jokes

What's the worst thing to star in?

An amber alert.

when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...

What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?

My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.

I cried when my dad was chopping onions. Onions was a good dog.

A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says, "Who the fuck's been fucking my wife?" The room goes silent. The guy in the back finishes his beer and says, "You ain't got enough bullets."

How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.

I’m not racist. I just have black guns.

I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.

A man and his friend walk into a bar on a 30-story building and order a drink of beer. Then one of the men jumps out the window and he can fly, so he says to his mate, "Gary, take a sip of this drink, it makes you fly!" So Gary takes a sip of the drink, jumps out the window, and dies. And the bartender says, "Gee, Superman, you're a douche when you drink!"

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.

My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.

Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.

Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.

What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?

He couldn't even open it.

I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.

What's a suicidal person's favorite game?

Hangman.

What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.

I’m probably the episode 9 since I make people cry.

Orphans only have 363 days because they don't have Mother's or Father's Day.

What starts with M and ends with arriage?

Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?

Neither does the child.