Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

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Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.

What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?

Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."

99% of Roblox usernames be like: bdiejfbsie3hdiejdbisie882jeoxnd, by yYidgJyeuzyei73*-;ujduzjehzisjd, and j73heisbdjJd3nakwnwo2jdieneidjd.

Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.

Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.

My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.

So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.