Morbid jokes
Me starts a cult just for fun... Just for fun!
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.
A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
I'd tell you a Kobe joke.
But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.
Me: spreading positivity.
Everyone else at the HIV testing center.
I still remember my grandpa's last words: "Turn the lawn mower off!"
My grandpa was amazing. He killed Hitler.
Why couldn’t the orphan find home?
Didn’t have eyes.
What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?
Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan is typing...
I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
99% of Roblox usernames be like: bdiejfbsie3hdiejdbisie882jeoxnd, by yYidgJyeuzyei73*-;ujduzjehzisjd, and j73heisbdjJd3nakwnwo2jdieneidjd.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.