Morbid jokes

Comedian: If you’re racist and you know it, clap your hands.

Guy 1 & Guy 2: 👏👏

Comedian: WTF bros!

Comedian: And one of you is black and one is white. How does that work?

What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?

He got gangryeen.

Gangrene+green+angry

Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.

Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?

Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?

Last week I found out my toaster is waterproof.

Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...

What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?

Fingering A minor.

What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?

At least a Christian kneels in church.

I painted my black PS5 white so the controller would run faster.

"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."

What goes Snap, Crackle, and Pop?

A neck.

Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.

As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"

What goes pop pop sizzle sizzle?

Two dead babies in an acid bath.

Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?

A: Loli-pops.

My therapist said time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.

Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?

A: A suicide bomber.

My therapist said time heals all wounds. I stabbed him. Now we wait...

I don’t know what to call this chat.

Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.

Some guy was mad at his ex-wife! So he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk.

And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.