Month

Month Jokes

Symptoms of Schizophrenia The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize, because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:

Delusions Hallucination

one night a father heard his daugter saying good night good night mom god night dad good night mamah good by papa the next day her papa died he heard her saying them a month later good night mom god night dad good by mamah the next day her mamah died well her dad was scared for his life he knew he was next well his daugter said them again good night mom good by dad the next day the mail man droped dead on their porch.

so a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats and the dealer tells him ‘dude the rain will ruin the seats get it under something if it starts raining and worst case scenario put vaseline all over the seats to make it water proof’. so he goes to his girlfriend house that night for dinner and before he goes inside she says ‘listen this is your first time meeting your parents we have a rule, the first one to speak has to do the dishes’. so he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes over 3 months because no one has spoken and the stench is awful. during dinner he concocted a plan to get someone to speak so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. not a peep eventually he grabs his girlfriend bends her over and starts going to town. still nothing the parents are outraged but not speaking because they don’t want to do the dishes. after about a minute of this he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. at that moment it starts to rain his motorcycle is out in the rain and grabs the vaseline out of his pack pocket and the dad goes ‘FINE ILL DO THE DISHES’

Man and woman are having a discussion. Woman looks into man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . ".

". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in".

Divorce is scheduled for next month.

My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck someone would die later that exact day she found out she had cancer.11 months later my grandpa died of a stroke I hope to see them in heaven I’d like to meet them pls comment good things I really really love them even though I didn’t get to meet them😭😭😭

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

I was listening to my children praying. And my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?" I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings are born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother." She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month. Like the other ones that ran away.

What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of spam After 6 months in the woods you'll still eat the can of spam

Doctor:I’m so srry sir but u only have a couple months left The sir:my children will be devastated Doctor:but I have a shot that can change that The sir:wat ever it takes Suppressed gunshots

I went to an inerview and my future boss said hi my name is watt niseto meet you i Then said WHAT IS UR NAME he then said What is not my name watt is so i replied ugh fine i guess i ll call you wha then he said wha i not my name and then i said ugh fine my name is will knott he then replied hi will not

Boy: mom why are drinking this disgusting red soup, I wanted salad Mom: quite son we only get this once a month