Mom

Mom jokes

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Bullshit

  • Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

    Treon: How did you find that?!

    Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

    Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

    Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

    Treon: We can't!

    Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

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  • Kidnapping

  • POV: An Asian kidnapper kidnapped an Asian kid, and the kidnapper called the kid's mom. Then the mom said, "No, it's fine, my kid got a B, he failed." And the kidnapper let him go saying he doesn't need a failure.

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    Somebody

  • Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.

    Theme Park

  • LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.

    Shrek- Should I pull the trap?

    *LBB’s mom walks into the trap*

    LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB

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    Dad

  • Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.

    My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!

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    Human

  • Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?

    Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.

    Me: Oh, okay.

    Goes to school.

    Teacher: How were humans made?

    Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.

    Teacher: 😑

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    Hug

  • Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom?

    Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around her.

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