Mom asks “Why are you are THIS show??? It’s DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!” The child says “Don’t you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?” Mon whispers “Oh, you DEAD.”
Mom asks “Who are you talking to?” The child said “A mistake.”
My mom said my sister was an angel but when i threw her out the window she didnt fly
LITTLE JOHHNY WALKS INTO LIVING ROOM AND ASKING HIS PARENTS MOM DAD WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSSBREED A BULLDOG AND SHITZU. THE MOTHER AND FATHER SHRUGS AND SAYS WE HAV NO IDEA JOHNNY WHAT DO U GET AND LITTLE JOHHNY REPLIES YOU GET A BULLSHIT
Your Mom's Favourite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa 1. A Lambo 2. A House 3. UR MOM
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you Me: At least I have a brain unlike you Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella? Bully: How would you know that? Me: Because she told me herself Bully: How exactly? Me: She's on the phone right now Phone: *High pitched animal noises* Me: Told you so
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
You so ugly whenever you say hi to so when they walk away and say that you were too ugly and they go take a bath right away cuz you so stinky and they say that you look like your mama wait your Mama must be either just like you because I can see her way from a mile You say you put on perfume but every time I spell you you feel like you poo poo you're so ugly that when your mom look in the mirror you cry you're so stupid the second grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten Head start every grade below you you can't even go to 20 grade stands for 9th grade you can't even go to grocery stores and people that tell you that you're so ugly they give you compliments just to make you feel better you know that everybody just like you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings so just stay in your mind hey you want to text Matt you know it was you because every time you see you you think that you matter fact he doesn't even like it for you he just want your money girl who even like you 😈😈
your mom is so hairy that kingkong got jealous of her
For some reason when my mom eat hot dogs she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son can anyone tell me why ?
U so ugly when ur mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering
This Category is messed up. My Mom died in 9/11 at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was ur mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
Ms Katie- I heard about a Vegan baby Mom- here’s your Happy meal Ms Katie- that’s not vegan did you trick me Kids- Yeah Ms Katie- that’s it little baby Jimmy I’m give you shaking baby syndrome
Mom- Please don’t hurt my son *Ms Katie shakes Jimmy Mom- I’m secretly a cop and your arested
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
Your name is baller cuz ur in my moms baller
