Mom jokes

I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.

Still waiting on an answer.

If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?

What milk do orphan babies drink?

Not their mom's, though.

One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!

Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!

My friend's mom: Why you bully me?

You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!

Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.

Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Saw that shit on Roblox.

If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.

When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.

Me: You f&*k up.

The class: Oh sh!&

Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.

Why did the orphan cross the road? (Not to see his mom or dad.)

Why do orphans cry alone?

They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.

Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).

The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."

For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"

Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!

My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.

Religious mom: FINALLY!

Me: Grabs a noose.

Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"

The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"

Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."

Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"

The child said, "A mistake."