When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! ππ¨
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.
Miss you dad.
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
Vegan Teacher the musical.
Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"
Mr. Beast- πΆ "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" πΆ
Chandler-π΅ "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" π΅
Mr. Beast- π΅ "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" π΅
Miss Kadie - π΅ "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" π΅
Kids- π΅ "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"
Miss Kadie - π΅ "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"
- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
What part is usually missing in an orphanβs computer system?
Motherboard.
Yo mum is so fat when she weared yellow the kids thought they missed the bus
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.
