Miss jokes
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.
Miss you dad.
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.
I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.
Vegan Teacher the musical.
Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"
Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶
Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵
Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵
Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"
- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.
Hi! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy!!!! I miss y'all, though!
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.