Miss jokes
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡
Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
Why do orphans hate dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.
When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.
😐😑
If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
Man asking waitress, "Pardon me, miss, may I ask you about the menu, please?"
Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?
Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
Kobe Bryant never missed a shot.
But he nailed that mountain.
Me: Brings in missing child.
Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.
Me: Oh, cool.
NEXT DAY
Me: Brings in 8 other kids.
Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!
I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.