Miscellaneous jokes
Your mum is so poor, she can't afford free samples.
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
You wanna hear a joke? It's YOU.
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
Fortnite is gay and rëtarded.
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
What is Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.