Miscellaneous jokes
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
You wanna hear a joke? It's YOU.
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
Fortnite is gay and rëtarded.
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
How do chemists laugh?
HeHe.
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.