We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty, We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor because he felt crummy
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
Voldemort: Knock Knock. Harry Potter: Who's There? Voldemort: You Know. Harry Potter: You Know Who? Voldemort: Exactly!
i hate my birthday for my first birthday my mom gave me my life i liked it when it was new and fun now its broken and sad and i wanna take it back
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
I told my dad, " I just thought of something funny." He said, ..." Your face?"
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said "hi." I said, " knife to meet you."
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine
I tried to catch air one... I mist
I tried to catch air once ... I mist
You wanna hear a joke? It’s YOU.
Donald Trump is like really orange.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because she was feeling bonely
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it.
Bippity Boppity Boop Bill Cosby's coming for you.
ME: hey joe updog
Joe:what
me:updog
Whats updog 0.0 *facepalms*
me: lol in the corner
