Miscellaneous jokes
I once auditioned to be in Sausage Party. I thought I filled the role well.
Your mum is so poor, she can't afford free samples.
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Por que.
Por que who?
"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Fortnite is gay and rëtarded.
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
You wanna hear a joke? It's YOU.
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.