Miscellaneous jokes
Kevin Woody (look him up)
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
I wish my lawn was emo, so I would not have to cut it, it would cut itself.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
...
What's the joke?
I said it already!
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Student: Why does everyone hate me?
Another student: Because U got the A last night.
Hey Autocorrect- STOP TAMPERING WITH MY CURSE WORDS YOU MOTHERDUCKING FORKLIFT!
Nobody:
Me: "Nobody:" "Me:"
My family.
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
Me: Hey Joe, updog.
Joe: What?
Me: Updog.
Joe: What's updog?
*Facepalms*
Me: Lol in the corner.
"Orla Doyle is fit."