Miscellaneous Jokes
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Why was the bus sleeping? Because it was too tired.
What's a convict's favorite song?
"I want to break free."
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
What do gay horses say?
"Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!"
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
Student: Why does everyone hate me?
Another student: Because U got the A last night.
What sucks but doesn't suck?
Vacuums!
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.
How do chemists laugh?
HeHe.
One word. Creeper.
My bumper sticker says: "πFORMER BABY ON BOARD."
Three friends were stuck in the desert. They were struggling and trying to find food when they found a magical lamp. They rubbed it and out came a genie, and the genie says, "Each of you friends get to have one wish." So the first friend said, "I wish to go home," same as the second one. The third friend said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were with me!"
Masturbation is better than rough sex.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs.
What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.....Whoβs there... Not the little boy.
