Why was the bus sleeping? Because it was too tired.
What's a convict's favorite song?
"I want to break free."
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
What do gay horses say? "Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
Student: Why does everyone hate me?
Another student: Because U got the A last night.
What sucks but doesn't suck?
Vacuums!
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the death man who heard it
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
My dog used to chase people on a bike alot. It got so bad,I finally had to take his bike away.
How do chemists laugh?
HeHe.
One word. CREEPER
My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."
Three friends were stuck in the desert they were struggling and trying to find food when. A they found a magical lamp the rubbed it and out came a genie and genie says "each of you friends get to have one wish" so the first friend said I wish to go home same as the second one the third friend said " I'm lonely I wish my friends were with me"
Mustarbation it's better than rough sex.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs
What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus
Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
