Mine Jokes

A guy and girl had sex poem competition. Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine." Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

A friend of mine loves to play Roulette, so I decided to introduce him to Russian Roulette. It blew his mind.

This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing. Hi we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun? So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with I have two parrots as well, they are always praying and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours. They proceed to do so and the lady's parrots say hi we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun? and the pastors parrots reply with Johnny drop your beads and lift your heads our prayers have been answered.

The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves. Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!

What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?

He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”

I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to go check my garage, it’s all good bc I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food

Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!

what do you call a cemetary of dead arabs? a mine field

Roses are red Violets are fine Why is your life So much better then mine

where did the children go after he step on the land mine

there, there, over there, and over here to