Midget jokes
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
Why couldn’t the midget talk?
Because someone stepped on him.
Q: What do you call a funny midget?
A: Kevin
Why couldn’t the midget ride the bus?
He can’t slam dunk his bus fare!
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."
Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?
Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.
It's not funny, I know.
When a midget smokes weed, does it get medium?
Friend says, "You were so drunk last night, you threw a mushroom at a midget and said, 'Grow, Mario, grow.'"
Justin.
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
What’s the best thing about midgets??
They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.
When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?
When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice.
Why are midgets short?
'Cause they are!
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
Everyone is autistic midgets.
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.