What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.
Why do you call a fat midget?
Jiggly Puff.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
What do you call angry midgets?
Short-tempered.
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?
... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.
Why did the midget not go to bed?
He couldn't reach the bed.
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:
1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?
2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?
3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?
4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?
5. Was this funny?
Friend says, "You were so drunk last night, you threw a mushroom at a midget and said, 'Grow, Mario, grow.'"
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
