Midget jokes
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
What do you call angry midgets?
Short-tempered.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
Why do women hate having sex with midgets?
Because of their shortcomings.
Do you think midgets start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?
... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:
1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?
2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?
3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?
4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?
5. Was this funny?
Why did the midget not go to bed?
He couldn't reach the bed.
Why don’t midgets wear tampons?
Because they’ll trip over the string.
Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43, 43, 43. A kid walks up to the man and says, "Why are you saying 43, 43, 43?"
The man stops and looks at him, then he starts jumping again and says 43, 43, 43.
The kid asked him again and so on.
Then the man stops, opens the pothole, throws the kid in, closes it, and starts jumping and says 44, 44, 44!!!"
What is the one spray that can kill midgets? Bug spray.
What’s the best thing about midgets??
They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.
Why are midgets constantly thirsty?
They can't reach the drinking fountains.
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
Why do midgets work at Tesco?
Because every little helps.
Why couldn’t the midget ride the bus?
He can’t slam dunk his bus fare!
Why do you call a fat midget?
Jiggly Puff.