Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?
He likes to hit small white balls.
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.
what does michael jackson and a tv have in common. they both get turned on by kids.
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Tea-hee-hee!
"Ching Chong ling long suck my ding dong."
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.