Kmart jokes
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...
Why was Michael Jackson at Kmart?
He heard they had little boys' pants 1/2 off.
Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?
Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.
If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!