Men jokes
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding...
...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.
"My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."
The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'
They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'
Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...
Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."
She replied, emphatically, "No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"
Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"
1, 2 look at your shoes.
3, 4 they look better than yours.
5, 6 you have no friends.
7, 8 you look like a ape.
9, 10 don't you like men?
11, 12 hell naw I like females.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 1800s?
Master.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 2000s?
Coach.
I bet you like men!
What do call six gay men going in a war?
Rainbow Six Siege.
Women say men are trash.
Yet men made the phone, laptops, computer and electrical hardware she uses to say men are trash, never mind the electricity she uses to power those devices...
Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.
Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...
I didn’t expect her to come back so early.
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.
Like if you think oily men are hot.
Why is football the gayest sport ever? Because it's just a bunch of sweaty men tackling each other.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good? Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.
Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
शाला टाइटैनिक को भी यमलोक जाना पड़ा। हम तो आदमी है।
Shala, even Titanic had to go to Yamlok. We are just men.
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.