Men jokes
My friend is a proud liberal, and she is about open minds, but she hates white men unless they’re gay and black men unless they’re conservatives. She hated slavery, but she’s for the party for keeping it.
Cornell has announced that they will be banning frat parties in the wake of the "Cornell 7" case. With this new policy, students will be forced to conduct all ketamine-fueled orgies in their dorms, which may limit these activities to just 6 men each.
Why can't gay men be handymen?
Because they'll be caulk fighting on the job.
What do a track meet and a frat house have in common?
They both have something getting ran through by eight men while it just sits there.
If a woman’s version of marriage is "happy wife, happy life," but statistically men are more likely to kill themselves, so who should be making who happy?
Then a man’s is "happy husband, don’t get bludgeoned."
Men should pay for dates because women have to pay for expensive things like makeup because God didn’t finish their faces.
How do you stop a gang of black men from raping a white girl?
Throw them a basketball.
What do you call a trans superhero team?
Ex-men.
History is mostly just a list of things men did while women were busy making sure they didn't die of scurvy.
Your taste in men is like my taste in humor: dark.
Being gay is the most masculine thing that is possible because only men can be gay.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
The weird moaning sounds when you try to slide in the back door.
Followed by slipping in Kentucky (KY) Jelly.
Followed by landing in deep shit.
Followed by being totally covered in sea men.
A small, nervous woman steps into a hotel elevator in Las Vegas.
At the next floor, three large, burly men step in. The woman is immediately intimidated and clutches her purse tightly.
Suddenly, one of the men says in a deep voice: "Hit the floor!"
Terrified that she is about to be robbed, the woman drops her bags and collapses face down onto the floor of the elevator, cowering in fear.
The men burst out laughing and help the bewildered woman up. The speaker apologizes profusely and says: "No, ma'am, I meant hit the button for our floor!"
The next morning, the woman receives a massive bouquet of roses and has her entire hotel bill paid for. Attached is a note that says: "Thanks for the best laugh I've had in years."
What do Diddy and Turkish men have in common?
They both use lots of oil.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 1800s?
Master.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 2000s?
Coach.
What do feminists do when they fail at something?
Blame men for sexism and misogyny.
Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."
What do you call a woman who sleeps with multiple men?
A whore.
What is 6-inch long, in every men's pants or hands, and girls want?
- A smartphone, freak.
Why did Jeffrey Dahmer only date black men?
Nutella!