Men jokes
Cornell has announced that they will be banning frat parties in the wake of the "Cornell 7" case. With this new policy, students will be forced to conduct all ketamine-fueled orgies in their dorms, which may limit these activities to just 6 men each.
Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to? Because they were born without a penis.
Two Chinese men walk into a bar.
"Owwwwwwwwwww," they say instead of "ouch."
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?" The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet." "Yeah, that's the one!"
A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?
Q: One that has a sense of money.
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
Why do men lick girls' boobs in sex?
'Cause they are just boys.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
Water bottles, strong, Standing tall, like sturdy men, Quenching every thirst.
Clear and transparent, Reflecting strength and resolve, Resilient and pure.
In hand, they offer Refreshing relief, like hugs, Soothing every soul.
Water bottles, like men, Nourish and hydrate our lives, Simple yet vital.
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.
What's the difference between football and rape? Women don't like football.
Two men are sitting at a coffee table.
Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."
Joe: "Why do you say that?"
Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."
Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."
Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."
I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."
Why don't heterosexual men want to suck bananas because they taste like octopus and squid?
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.