Medicine jokes
"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.
Why did the fish go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling “eel.”
What's harder than taking a shit?
Trying to take a shit while constipated!
What was the epileptic chef’s house special?
Seizure salad.
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with and EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh, for God's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.
"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."
What do you call a cat with a live in doctor?
An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.
Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.
If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.
Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
Why did the doctor turn the orphan down?
Because he is a family doctor.
Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.
Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.
What is mad cow disease?
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?
During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.
What do you call a bloody pig?
HAMorrhage!