Medicine jokes
During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.
Sarcastic Doctor: Tell me.
Guy: I have leukemia in the brain.
Sarcastic Doctor: That doesn't concern me.
What do you call a bloody pig?
HAMorrhage!
I wanna see Stephen Hawking on nitrous.
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.
What do you call an epileptic in a swimming pool? A dishwasher.
Dolls have wigs made of mohair, cancer patients have wigs of no hair.
Diarrhea.
"Who am I? Why am I typing?"
If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
CANCER!
Just kidding, they are both fun to laugh at.
One apple a day keeps the doctor away; not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.
Have you heard about the movie about constipation?
Me neither, it hasn't come out yet.
I told my doctor I was experiencing some back pain. He told me to smoke some weed because I had chronic back pain.
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.
What did the doctor say to the terminally ill Power Ranger?
It's Morphine Time.
Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
What do you call an Italian with an anesthetic?
Ruberto
Why are cancer kids so fly?
Because they got the drip.