An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
A man gets an email from his doctor
"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tommarrow"
The man thinks to himself "oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"
knock knock
who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy
GO AWAY!
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".
My mom said the happier a person is when sick the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital, apparently the doctor said to the nurse you can discharge Mr Hawking now, so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants
Why do pills work? Because they r white
Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
D NO DOCTOR START WITH A AND A+
I told my doctor I was experiencing some back pain. He told me to smoke some weed because I had chronic back pain.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."
"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
