I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.
What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?
I don't know. I forgot.
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?
Oh, it's still cancer.
Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed?
A) Cancer.
What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?
He strained himself.
What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.
During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.
What's the best haircut?
Chemotherapy.
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?
why did the banana go to the doctor it wasn't peeling well
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then the lethal dose would be a lifetime supply.
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose. She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.
If selena Gomez wasn't really single after justin bieber dump her. I would wait for her to come by my house take her fine ass in my room close my door give her some sex medicine until she masturbate.
Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?
A: See you on the flip side.
