Pizzeria

Pizzeria Jokes

Abortion clinic

Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?

Orphanage

If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”

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  • Morgue

    Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!

    Phone Call

    Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,

    answer the phone with this:

    "Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"

    or

    "Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"

    Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.

    Plane

    Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed?

    People, they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.

    Guy

    This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.

    His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.

    The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.

    Abortion clinic

    The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"

    Pizza

    You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?

    Boss: You're fired!

    Me: Ok?

    Worker: Why are you fired?

    Me: Oh, you wanna know...

    *shows him the oven with my pizza*

    Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!

    Worker: OH SHIT!!

    Boss: Did you say pizza?

    Me: I sure did!

    *shows boss pizza in oven*

    Me: This hoe black as fuck!

    Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?

    Pizza

    Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?

    Abortion

    When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!

    Abortion clinic

    Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?