Why can't people in Africa have medicine?
Because you cannot have pills on an empty stomach.
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."