Meat jokes
What is the definition of polish sausage?
🐴🍖 Horse meat.
What is one thing humans do before they eat?
They beat their meat to make nuggets.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
What do you call a pig that pulled a leg? Pulled pork.
Haha, yeet my fuckin' meat!
What's similar between McDonald's and priests?
They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
How do you quiet a baby down?
Make baby back ribs for dinner.
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.
I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.
The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"
That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?
BK doesn’t sell real meat.
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
What's the song that plays at the very end of the movie, Dr. Strangecow, during the montage of nuclear blasts?
"Veal meat again, don't know where, don't know when..."
The best quote by Kim Jong Un:
"Meeting girl in park is good, but parking meat in girl is better."
Meeting a girl at a park is good, but parking meat in girl is better.
What do you call a pig at the beach?
Bacon.
Halal!
Is it meat you're looking for?
I went home one day, and three guys—a Spanish guy, a Chinese guy, and a white guy—told me, "You should be proud of your sister. She won a trophy about knowing her flavor of meats." Then my sister told me that I was blindfolded, and she gave all of them a blowjob, and I had to guess which flavor that I was sucking on. I was right all the time, and they gave me a trophy. The Trophy says "Blowjobs of the Flavors." As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.