Meat jokes
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?
Students: Eggs.
Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon.
Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework.
What is a suicidal horny person's job?
A butcher.
What does this mean? 👊🥩
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
What did Pluto say to Saturn while barbecuing steaks?
"Mine is meatier than yours."
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
I don't joke about vegans. That would be tasteless...
I have no beef with them.
What is the definition of polish sausage?
🐴🍖 Horse meat.
What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
What is 6 inches and long?
A Slim Jim.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!