ME jokes
This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs.
"Shout out to entity...welcome to hell!"
"Every time I see your icon I vomit lol."
"Get a life... hey I'm violet olivegarden how can I help you if you need me to disc someone ill help..."
Yeah, she said, "Do you love me?" I said, "Only partly. I love my bed and my mommy. I'm sorry."
Girl: Hi (flirt)
Boy: Hi? (reluctant)
Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).
Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...
Welcome to Blind Date. With me, Stevie Wonder!
Memes
always happens to me
Prostitutes remind me of chewese.
Does anyone have an Xbox One? My gamertag is Chalkyfrog11. Add me and comment on this post telling me your gamertag.
Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.
What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?
They both hit me face down on the table.
Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.
Sister: No, I won't stop.
Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.
Sister: What? You will see when I post it.
Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?
Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ΜT HAVE A LIFE.
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
I couldnβt quite remember how to catch a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."
So I said, "But which one?"
I couldnβt quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!
My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 1st grader.
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.