ME jokes
Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?
Are you kidding me?!?
My teacher: Oliver will be transitioning.
Me: tRaNsItIoNiNg!!!!
My teacher: He will be transitioning from primary school to secondary school.
Me: I thought you meant another transitioning...
There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"
Me so horny! Me so horny!
Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!
Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.
Memes
Sarcastic Doctor: Tell me.
Guy: I have leukemia in the brain.
Sarcastic Doctor: That doesn't concern me.
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Username: thelightlessdays
My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."
My sister beat me in a race. She gave me a raspberry. I was bitter.
I killed a Wood elf yesterday. The guard charged me with... mer-der.
Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”
Let me Lickitung until you Squirtle.
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
My dad left me.
People: Stop joking about such serious issues!
Me: Kill yourself.
I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.
What is you main food?
Me: Pizza cause I'm cheesy.
Friend: Chocolate chips cause I have a lot of friends.
Girlfriend: Donut cause I have a lot of cream.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
Me in my dream: What a good day! *rumble* Ooh! What was that?
I wake up and I find myself on the floor.