ME jokes
I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.
Prince, where are you? Please talk to me! I swear I love you!
Prince, please talk to me for real...
Let's sort this out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please, please answer me. I need an answer!!!!!!!!!!!! BTW, Princess, my name is Gwen, and I am not a faker!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Prince, be honest, do you still love me?"
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
Memes
Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?
Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.
"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
Wanna hear a joke? It's called me :|
I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
This is a bad day for me.
Me.
The joke is as short as me.
Me: What are you?
Jake: A muddeasso.
Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.
The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.
Do you love water?
Then you love 75% of me.
Knock knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollinnnnnn!
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....