ME jokes

Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?

Orphan: I don't know what you mean.

Me: There is no one to give a present.

My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.

I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.

They don't call priests "daddy," they call me daddy.

Weirdo: I'm too high to die!

Me: You'll just fall harder.

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!

It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!

What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?

I actually come back with the milk.

Repeat after me...

Me: "You have a weird style."

Mom: "You have a weird style."

Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.

"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."

"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."

Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.

Me: They're certainly not wrong.

My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.

Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.

Mommy is a YouTuber, she can never spend time with me.

Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"

Somebody told me to type "Up" by Cardi B. So here it goes:

Up

"Hey, look at me, I'm stupid named Jordan C who won't shut up and leave Addison alone."