ME jokes

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

What did Africa say to the grass? Get off me!

My job is so amazing.

Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.

I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

She said, "Yes."

"Knock knock."

I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"

My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.

My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.

How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.

FEW!!!!!!!

My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.

So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.

Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.

Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.

Asdf movie: meow meow I’m a cow.

Me to my villagers in Minecraft: chick chick my guns cocked so frick.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

God made me pretty, what happened to you?

I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)

Me: Am actually happy right now.

Life: Lol one sec.

Hey, join me. I be near the tree. Bring things to.

Me, (AHAHAHA IM A JOKE AHAH Criii) Anyone wanna date? Lol.

Oh, sweetheart, you brighten me.