ME jokes
If an orphan took a photo, what would it be called?
A self-me.
Tazzaro got me like: 😂
Orphans got me like: 😂
I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...
Me: Knock Knock
Her:
A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"
Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"
The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."
My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
A: Who can tell me a joke?
B: Life.
I heard that Uranus is pronounced "yuuranus," but it reminded me of urine! 😆
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
My brother: What are you looking at?
Me: A mistake.
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
Everyone at the Queen's funeral:
Me and the boys getting her reboot card.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
[concert] SINGER: How's everyone doin' tonight? CROWD: Woo! ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): It's actually been a tough few months.
Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.
Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.
Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.
This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!
A TikTok I saw: "I'm in Canada, I'm in the United States!"
Most people: "I'm in South Korea, I'm in Nor- *boom*"
Me: "I'm in Palestine, I'm in Is... this heaven?"
*Insert me starting a war in the comments*
For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
Yo hair so big it took me weeks to find the needle in it.