ME jokes
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
What's the funniest thing you ever read? For me it was when Rapboat told me he was a legit rapper.
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
THIS IS ME
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Orphan: "I want to be a superhero."
Me: "You should be Batman."
Also me: *starts laughing* because Batman doesn't have parents...
My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?
Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.
Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.
Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-
Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.
Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?
I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."
Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."
Trashy pig woman: "Why?"
Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
Stephen Hawking died because he got hacked by me, and the update was too strong.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me later!"
Hey dad, I'm hungry!
Hi hungry, I'm dad. Why did you name me this way, why why why?
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
Hello worstjokesever.com, I am not typing but instead using a microphone to speech, ding me a period.
I don’t see what’s coming up, but I don’t know why I am sending, so it will be random or funny or just stupid, LOL. So like and subscribe and...