ME jokes

Day

    • Sell PC.

    Go to Croatia.

    Try to fly to the US to meet female.

    US won't let me in.

    End up in Norway.

    Female leaves me.

    Female gets arrested by feds.

    Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.

    Just another day in the defib life.

  • 7

    • Banana

    • One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.

  • 0

    • Health

    • Me: Knock, knock.

    Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?

  • 2
    • ME memes

    Internet

    • Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.

    Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.

  • 1

    • Shooter

    • So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

    And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

    Ground

    • Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.

    Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.

    Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.

    Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.

    Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.

    Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)

  • 3

    • Squat

    • A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"

    Sex

    • Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"

  • 0

    • Ball

    • My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

  • 1