ME jokes
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and thatβs the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. πππππ 6 weeks later, she died. πππππππππππππ
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
Who's Hitler's best friend? Nazis me.
Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"
Rope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?
Me: Maybe I can hang later...
Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?
Memes
Dear doctor,
I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly, Ray Palp
If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.
That one really *crashed and burned*.
Elementary school kids: School is fun.
Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.
Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she wonβt listen to me. Itβs almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.
"Stupid faker, if you're trying to get me to leave the site, it won't work!"
What did the traffic light say to the other?
"Hey, stop looking at me! I'm changing!"
Hi, you guys don't know me, but I have my best interests at heart.
I'm a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that Gwen, Addison Banks, Watersharky, ect. are kind people! Also, I kinda like Watersharky...
To all my bullies: donβt call me gay because Iβm not happy.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me, so they can get adopted.
Help me...
Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.
I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras, but then I heard popping behind me!
Almost all of you suck. If you're following me, hah, this isn't a joke, but it gave my profile a 1 thingy heheh. KYS, Wade =D