ME jokes

Milf

    • Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she is a MILF. My mom said to me, "What is a MILF?" so I said, "Mother I'd Like TO F-ck." So my mom started to laugh and said, "Well, you do need a new step dad."

    Couple

    • I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"

    Hurricane

    • Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!

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    • ME memes

    Watch

    • My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."

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    • Luigi

    • Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?

    A: "It's me, Luigi!"

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    • Cheetah

    • Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."

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    • Friend

    • One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.

    I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!

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    • Watch

    • My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.

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    • Clay

    • Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.

    It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-

    Drug

    • Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?

    Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.

    Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?

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