ME jokes

Feminist

    • Me: Knock knock.

    Friend: Who's there?

    Me: Impatient feminist.

    Friend: Impati--

    Me: Why don't we have equal pay YETTTTTTT?

  • 4

    • Mom

    • Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."

    Puppy

    • My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

    A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

    9/11

    • My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"

    ME memes

    Cannibal

    • The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."

    Insult

    • 1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

    2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

    3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

    Pizza

    • Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.

    Gummy bear

    • A B C D E F G.

    Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!

    Funeral

    • My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

  • 0