ME jokes

What do you name a family reunion of an orphan?

"Me time."

Asian kid: I’m not a doctor, and I’m not good at math.

Me: That’s what I call an orphan!

Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.

What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?

Piss don't s**t on me!

Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.

Me: So you're gonna leave me again?

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

What did the toaster say to the piece of bread? "I want you inside me."

Talk to me if you're online.

I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?

What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game?

Adopt Me.

I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.

Let me know if you can't cum.

They call me Juan, they call me Jose, but I'm Juan person.

Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"

Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"

Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"

My dad left me, lol.

Guys, add me as a friend in Roblox. I'm hawaiilover973 :D

Attention, everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future, but for now: Goodbye.

Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.

I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.

What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"

Somebody give me a peanut. I just ate an EpiPen.