ME jokes
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
Asian kid: I’m not a doctor, and I’m not good at math.
Me: That’s what I call an orphan!
Hey guys, so we have a friend group and we need followers and people! So far it's me and Royal. If you want to join just comment why and you're in unless people have reasons to not want you!
What do you name a family reunion of an orphan?
"Me time."
Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!
Memes
A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.
I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."
Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.
What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?
Piss don't s**t on me!
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
Would you rather date me or a lady?
I laid deez nuts in your mouth.
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
My dad left me, lol.
Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?
Wife: You have good eyesight.
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.
Guys, add me as a friend in Roblox. I'm hawaiilover973 :D
Hey Qwen, it's me.