ME jokes

I'm ashamed to admit feeling proud of the rape joke I posted and what went on between me and your mum.

Your mom went to the ocean, and the whales said, "We are family," even though you are fatter than me.

Wanna hear a joke? Me.

My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.

I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.

Friend: You are joking.

Me: Joking on deez nuts.

Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...

Me: I just shot an orphan.

Mate: You can’t do that!

Me: What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.

What is depressed and gay? Me.

Bully: Oh, look at your shoes, look at your pants, look at your shirt, ay, ay, ay.

Me: Ding, ding, sing, oh, did you hear that? It's the elevator 'cause you're not on my level.

Bully: u_u ......

Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

Girl: Hey. Boy: Hi? Girl: I need to tell you something... Boy: WHAT? Girl: I like you. Boy: And I hate you. Boy: YOU'RE A CHICKEN 🐔🐔 🐔 Girl: I HATE YOU YOU POOP 💩💩💩💩 Girl: LOSER L Boy: I thought you said you liked me. Girl: SHUT UP CHICKEN/POOP 💩💩🐔 🐔 Boy: GIRL BYE Girl: Bye Felicia.

Lady: Will you fuck me?

Man: No, I don’t have a penis.

Lady pulls down man's pants and looks in them. "Yes, you do!" she says.

Man: Oh, I forgot it was there.

What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?

I know how to use an exercise band.

One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱

So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.

A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:

Sans: "Sub bro."

Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"

Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."

Sans: "A skele-ton."

(Drum effect)

Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"

I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!

How did the air beat me at chess? It did that thing, haha!

What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.