ME jokes
Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
Me: Roasts my annoying cousin.
Everyone at the barbecue...
Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
Memes
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.
Have a guess who came crawling back?
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.
Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
What is black and white and red all over?
Answer: A newspaper.
That is what my 3-year-old told me.
"What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: Oh right, you don't have one *laughs*
Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right, you don't have a real life. *INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS*
2021-2022
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
This shit is weird (as baby girl pees).
Dad: “Trust me, shitting is weirder.”
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.