ME jokes

I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.

I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

Some dude: Water you thinking?

Me: You're drowning in my head.

Me: Do you like smash?

Friend: Smash Rolls?

Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!

Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?

First date be like:

Me: "I work with animals every day."

Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"

Me: "I'm a butcher."

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:

Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"

My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.

(If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.

When I saw you, it instantly made me cry. LOL.

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

Me: I hit an orphan!

Mom: OMG WHY?

Me: Not like they can tell their parents-

",':/ wait wtf that post below me was gay."

What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"

Tell me a joke about sodium.

Na.

Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.

Friend: What was the first?

Me: They- they weren't always orphans.

Friend: O-O