ME jokes
Knock, knock.
Moon, give me cheese.
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
I like you, you like me.
Let’s go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun. Barney’s on the floor, no more purple dinosaur. 🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺🥀🥀🥀RIP BARNEY
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!
Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!
Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.
Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!
Sans: Yea bro.
Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.
What did the cholo say when the house fell on him?
"Get off me, homes!"
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
What time do you call me tomorrow?
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.