ME jokes
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.
I was wondering why the tennis ball was getting bigger 🤔
Then it hit me 🤧😂
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
Memes
Me, haha, I'm the joke.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
Hey, how ya doin'?
Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.
Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.
Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.
I hate people that hate life.
Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.
*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe
Who wants me to bring back the daily School Shooter Jokes?
Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!
Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?
My girlfriend called me a pedophile. That's a big word for a six-year-old.
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Do you love me?
No, Papa.
#### you!
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
What is brown and sticky?
What is white and gooey?
What is long and hard?
(Tell me in the comments)
Riddle: I can fill a room, others can have me, but I can't be shared. What am I?
Answer: Loneliness.