ME jokes

Orphanage

    • School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!

    Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*

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    • Orphan

    • Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.

    The orphan: But why?

    Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.

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    • ME memes

    Tree

    • What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.

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    • Incest

    • My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

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    • Nut

    • *at school*

    Nobody: Do you want nuts?

    Me: Wait, you have some?

    Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.

    Me: :0

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    • Soulmate

    • My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?

    Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.

    Depression

    • Hey, how ya doin'?

    Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

    Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

    Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

    People

    • I hate people that hate life.

    Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.

    *hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe

    Uncle

    • Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!