ME jokes
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
Me :D
I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.
Call me Willma, Will ma balls fit in ya mouth?
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!
Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?
My girlfriend called me a pedophile. That's a big word for a six-year-old.
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.
Haha, the joke is me.
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
Me: I will f**k ur mom.
Orphan: I don't have one.
Me: ......