ME jokes

Symptom

  • My mom told me that her doctor told her personally that she had to keep herself isolated because she has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great ass.

  • 0
  • People

  • Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?

    Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.

    Fat: Dang...

    Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.

    Kid

  • Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

  • 1
  • Life Support

  • My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*

    Friend

  • A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

  • 0
  • Oreo

  • BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!

    Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.

    BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!

    Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.

    Yo mama

  • Yo mama's so dumb, her dad said, "You're driving me crazy," and she said, "I didn't know crazy was a place!"

    Train

  • Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

    Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.