ME jokes

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.

Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!

Me: I will f**k ur mom.

Orphan: I don't have one.

Me: ......

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

Haha, the joke is me.

Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.

This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.

I hate people that hate life.

Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.

*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe

Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.

My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?

Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.

Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.

Riddle: I can fill a room, others can have me, but I can't be shared. What am I?

Answer: Loneliness.

Me: What did the twin say to the other twin?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: I'll fall with you.

Hey, how ya doin'?

Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

Who wants me to bring back the daily School Shooter Jokes?

My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."

My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)

Me: I know, you always are...

My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

Johnny, Johnny?

Yes, Papa?

Do you love me?

No, Papa.

#### you!