ME jokes

Little Herobrine, I'm cumming in ur mom! Call me Saddam Hussein cuz I'm dropping rap bombs!!

Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.

This orphan showed me a family photo.

But it was just a selfie.

What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.

My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.

"Me tells dad joke often."

"I want to hear it."

"Me? You wouldn't get it."

Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.

Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.

Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.

Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

I am thinking of removing my spine.

It's only holding me back.

Like this post and comment down below if you want me to announce my real name in my next post!

My Mum texted me she had lost her phone.

Me: Joe left today.

Orphan: Who's Joe?

Me: Joe mama!

Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."

My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........

IMAGINE!

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.

Then I waited for the results.

I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.

Why does Lincoln like Ronnie Anne?

She is the only one that calls me "lamo."

My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.

I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.