ME jokes

Bunger got me like:

😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...

What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...

Me:...

Me: Dad, my phone is broken.

Dad: How?

Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.

Dad: Stupid.

Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.

Then I waited for the results.

My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........

IMAGINE!

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"

I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.

FUCK ME DADDY!!!!

If you were to ask me, "What is the easiest job in the world?", it would be an Australian psychiatrist.

"G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!"

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Ken.

Ken who?

Can you walk the dog for me?

Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."

I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.